#soccer – Phuro!

Show some respect !

It’s saturday and I am preparing myself to play a soccer game with my team ! I am completely motivated, I can’t wait to be on the field…Let the game begin !

Today is a very special day : it is bring-your-family-to-soccer day ! And boy oh boy am I lucky ! A bunch of people are already in line to accompany me to the game ! My angry dad, my overacting mom, my annoying sister, my agressive cousin, my drunk uncle and our-know-it-all friend of the family…

Jeez….What could possibly go wrong…

When cheering becomes jeering…

My angry dad

I recognized a pattern after all these years. At first he told me what to do on the field, followed by throwing insults at me. It infected my play and I regularly lost focus…

His remarks often leave me wondering why I am still playing football, he says I suck afterall…

I learned how to deal with his behaviour, one day I just stopped listening to him, I imagined carrying a remote control on me, and I muted him whenever I wanted it !

However, now that I am immune to his insults, he has turned his anger towards someone else and he spits his frustration out on other people !

My overacting mom

She can really embarrass me. Her voice usually overrules any sound around. My teammembers always give me that look, I just know how much they feel sorry for me…

Tackled and lying on the field ? A bleeding nose ? There she is running on the field towards me like a desperate animal, a headless chicken, she’s losing it !

No challenging duels for her ! How dare anyone attack me – her son for godsake – and steal the ball ? Next thing you know, I turn my head and she’s already punching my opponent or taking him by the ears…

My annoying sister

She is able to shy away the grass beneath our feet. My teammembers stare at her. She seems to be able to hypnotize a whole crowd. She always wants to steal the show. Whenever she is around, it’s all eyes on her !

I am often obliged to install a buffer zone around her or to tie her up so she can’t escape…What do people see in her ? She’s such a spoiled brat….

My agressive cousin

It is easy to find him in the crowd, he always catches attention and he can’t sit still for a single minute !

He’s not really here to watch my game, that’s not interesting at all ! He likes to bully everyone around, he’s here trying to trigger people for a fight. He calls himself a hooligan.

He even wants me to lose, so he can be emotionally upset, destroy other people’s property and leave a trail of destruction behind. He is often in company of :

My drunk uncle

I wonder what’s wrong with him when I don’t see him carrying a beer in his hands. Things can turn around very rapidly in soccer…so with uncle Eddy : he can morph from teddy to creep within seconds ! Once he’s loaded he’s going completely bananas…

He touches anything on two legs and usually remembers absolutely nothing afterwards. Alcohol is his excuse for everything that goes wrong : spirit made him grab the pussy !

Our know-it-all friend

Did you spot him already ? Who invited him ? That arrogant prick, always wanting it bigger and better, always wanting to be right. Mr. Know-it-all ! He wants to be my manager and make me great again huh ???

He corrects my coach, tells him he’s a loser…According to him the ref doesn’t know anything about soccer. In his days things were a lot different, my whole club just sucks !

It’s not okay !

It’s not okay when each time you are playing a game, you have to worry what insults your dad is going to yell this time.

It’s not okay when your mother is always there shaking things up !

It’s not okay when supporters are verbally abusive towards you, calling you names, belittling you, swearing at you…Thug, diver, bully,…

You should have fun playing the game and enjoy learning to play, free from adult interference and intimidation !

Silent sidelines

A lot of clubs are working towards silent sidelines these days. They often receive angry emails from the parents afterwards…

“What’s the point of watching the game, when we can’t yell and scream and be supportive ?”

We’re not telling that a grandmother saying “good job” to her grandson, all of sudden needs to shut up, or that you can’t use uplifting words to motivate your son.

Things are different when children become ashamed of parental behaviour, when there’s verbal abuse or physical assault towards other spectators, the ref, other players and not to forget : their own children !

If supportive means being respectful towards EVERYONE that would be wonderful ! But I’m sure some are benefitted with guidelines when it comes to tempering their emotions…

Continual verbal attacks thrown back at each other or at the children on the field… heckling the ref…. this kind of behaviour often leads to physical violence !

Put everything back in perspective ! Show some respect ! We are all human !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Soccer is a TEAM sport II

Be involved !

Mental coaching isn’t about shouting uplifting words all the times or telling a player he needs more confidence, that’s just not enough. Tell him something he doesn’t know yet !

HOW he can get more confidence…WHAT does he need to do ? He wants a solution, not just having the problem shoved under his nose again…

Sometimes we believe our children aren’t smart enough, We often talk behind their back and make decisions according to what we believe is best, but they themselves are part of the solution.

They have to learn how to focus and how to communicate honestly !

Team players should be encouraged to regularly talk to eachother so they can better understand their team and be involved in it.

The reason why I caricatured some players in my previous blog Soccer is a TEAM sport (the bully, the cryer, the comedian, the unmotivated one) is because all of these traits are present within yourselves on some level but you have to acknowledge this in order to change it.

Be honest with yourselves, talk about your qualities and your flaws and regard critcism from coaches and team members as feedback.

Listen and work on the solution together !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Soccer is a TEAM sport

We all know that soccer is a competitive sport between two teams. But how often do we see that team members are quarreling against eachother or that players sabotage themselves during the game ?

If you are a soccer player, know that your biggest opponent is often yourself ! Let us go into the group dynamics of a soccer team and categorize some of these players.

The thinker

Do you believe there’s a voice in your head that is always there to criticize you and contradicting everything that you do ? That’s your inner critic who is getting in the way ! He can say nasty things like : “You can never repeat such a move again.” or : “You moron, that ball should have been in !”

It’s not a good time to judge every move you make on the field. Trust that you will perform at your best and stay focused. Observe your actions instead of judging them !

The doubter

Doubters lack self confidence. Their self talk is usually negative and judgemental towards themselves and they are easily struck down by the criticism of others (team members, opponents, coach and supporters). Watch the body language of the player altering after a remark : he will be completely out of the game (not focused), and he will lose strength (the remark “hits” him and makes him go weak !)

The bully

So you think you are strong when you’re angry ? Guess what ? Nope ! An aggressive and tensed player gets weak too and is prone to injuries. Why ? Whenever you are not balanced, you will use muscles that aren’t neccessarily useful during soccer. Your muscles will start contracting, you will use a lot of energy that you could have used to the maximum when you would have been focused on the game ! Not to mention the consequences you have to face afterwards when you were verbally or physically aggressive towards someone…

The cryer

Here’s the other side of the emotional pendulum : the sad one always plays the victim. Just as the angry player will go weak, the emotional one will lack the energy to play a good game. They often are not resilient to what happens around them and would rather throw in the towel after a misser. Why continue ? We have already lost the game…Their head is already in the shower…

The frustrated player

The frustrated one will focus on everything that goes wrong in the team and will get angry because of his own “stupidity” or because of other players’ actions. He will eventually start yelling at other players and will get stressed and demotivated too. Remember that you are a team and that you have a common goal to achieve. Keep yourself and others motivated !

The unmotivated player

Are you forced by your parents to play soccer ? Would you rather do something else then playing soccer ? Are you just keeping your father’s dream alive ? Time for an honest chat if you would ask me !

Players can also get demotivated by their environnement. This includes angry parents and coaches, supporters, jealous girlfriends, disputes between team members etc…

And then there are players who don’t show up for practise and expect to play and win the next game on saturday…

The egoist

So you think you got it all worked out for you…and that you really don’t need to practise that hard. It’s a piece of cake acccording to you. You would rather drop dead than to pass the ball to a team member whose in a better position to score. You are surprised when other team members start to exclude you. “What are they thinking ? Ignoring a great talent like me….”

Also remember that “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”

The comedian

You do need fun and pleasure otherwise you will never keep on top of your performances, but that doesn’t mean the game has to become a caricature, a theatre play or a drama. Don’t waste your precious time by giving us a magnificent show, people are here to watch a soccer game, not a stand up comedy !

The balanced one

Do you really want to be the next Messi or Ronaldo ? When the passion for soccer comes from deep within…you are destined to become a great athlete ! The great ones keep going despite all outer appearences and judgements of others…

Remember they said Messi was too small to be a succesful soccer player ? You can always prove them wrong. Build up your mental strength and emotional resilience and work hard to be a winner !

Next time we’ll discuss the tools you can use to beat any opposition on your way to success !

Phuro! Be inspired!