Just be you…

Our self-esteem isn’t always based on self worth but often on the approval of others or on personal success in life. We want to be liked, we want to be appreciated, we want to be valued and most of all we want to feel loved.

For some of us, it is extremely difficult to say NO. We are afraid that if we would tell people how we truly feel we would be judged or we would lose the affection of certain people.

Know that when you say no, you just reject a request. You do not reject the person ! Ask yourself : “How can someone know who I am, what I stand for or what I want if I don’t set bounderies, if I can’t stand my own ground, if I can’t say a clear NO ?

 

Do not allow yourself to say yes when it is obvious that you can feel a clear no in every cell of your body Do not make excuses but look the person in the eye when you say it.

We often hide our true feelings, we swallow the bad remarks and the criticism of others, we let hurtful words change our state of being. Unable to digest this negativity, it leaves us nauseous, it can infect and poison our whole system !

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We can feel overwhelmed by all the different energies emanating from friends, colleagues, clients, patients, customers. Whenever we are out of alignement with our true self, it is easier for others to penetrate our energy field and to get us influenced.

If you keep going against your grain, against your own gut feeling, you will continue to bottle up negative emotions and become an explosive barrel of frustration !

People who are focused on pleasing others are depleting their energy and are sacrificing themselves and then one day they become barely recognizable to themselves.

The core of who they are, gets hidden. Infected by dark thoughts and devastating negative self-talk and judgement, that beautiful spark in their eyes fades out and they start looking numb instead, as if life has been sucked out of them. They completely lose their drive !

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When you hold a mirror in front of people and you ask them to tell positive things about themselves, they often shy away, they feel uncomfortable, they get nervous, angry or sad. They don’t know what to say.

They are not used to take responsability for their own well-being and barely put positivity in themselves.

Love is the most important gift you can give yourself ! Stop tormenting yourself and start loving yourself again instead ! Express yourself honestly, without fear of being judged. Just be you !

Phuro! Be inspired!

Away, get away
You’re such a freak
It’s what people say to me
Different, too different
I’m scared of judgement
Your insults and your slanders stick on to me
Yes with your million eyes you’re watching me
You talk behind my back
You spy on me
So I scream and shout to make you leave
But you’re still here, you keep judging me
With your million eyes, eyes!
Drowning I’m drowning in that clown’s mask
To make you laugh at my thousand flaws
Alone when I’m all alone I take my smile off
But your heartless words have left me scars
‘Cause with your million eyes you’re watching me
You talk behind my back
You spy on me
So I scream and shout to make you leave
But you’re still here, you keep judging me
‘Cause with your million eyes you’re watching me
You talk behind my back
You spy on me
So I scream and shout to make you leave
But you’re still here, you keep judging me
With your million eyes, eyes!
‘Cause with your million eyes you’re watching me
You talk behind my back
You spy on me
So I scream and shout to make you leave
But you’re still here
‘Cause with your million eyes you’re watching me
You talk behind my back
You spy on me
So I scream and shout to make you leave
But you’re still here, you keep judging me
‘Cause with your million eyes you’re watching me
You talk behind my back
You spy on me
So I scream and shout to make you leave
But you’re still here, you keep judging me
Songwriters: Luuk Cox / Loic Nottet / Army Morrey
Artist : Loic Nottet

 

giphyln

As I began to love myself…

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
As I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time
was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this
person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm.
Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do
and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in
my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for
my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew
me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude
a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since
I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry
about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING
is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my
mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this
connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing
new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE”!

Charlie Chaplin

Phuro! Be inspired!

 

Love is the absence of judgment

“Liefde is de afwezigheid van oordelen” Dalai Lama.

English blog version below video !

Shift in perspectief !

Wanneer je zegt dat je depressief bent, weet dat je niet depressief bent. De echte “ik” is niet depressief, Jouw echte “ik” is altijd daar geweest : onveranderbaar, stil, krachtig ! Het is jouw geest die telkens weer depressieve gedachten kiest en herhaalt. Het is een bouwsel, een constructie van de geest, een defensie mechanisme. Een illusie die in het leven wordt gehouden door wat jij gelooft, een deel dat in het leven is geroepen door jou en beïnvloed door anderen ! Jouw ego vecht !

Het echte gevecht (weerstand tegen jouw ware zelf)

Jouw gedachten zitten gevangen in de illusie van “tijd” door steeds het nu te beoordelen. Je brengt steeds jouw geest in het verleden of de toekomst en probeert zo de tijd te controleren, je plaatst zelf condities op het huidige moment. Het ego kan moeilijk in het nu leven omdat het een gewoonte gemaakt heeft om te oordelen ! Het moment dat je het NU beoordeelt, leef je niet meer in het NU. Observeer het NU, observeer jezelf zonder te oordelen en alles valt op zijn plaats.

Kijk in de spiegel : wat zeg je normaal gezien tegen jezelf ? Werd jouw negatieve zelf praat een gewoonte ? Weet dat je het zelf gemaakt hebt en ook zelf kunt veranderen ! Misschien lijkt het moeilijk en onnatuurlijk, maar dat is normaal toch, je bent het niet gewoon om zoveel liefde en positiviteit in jezelf te stoppen ! Toch is zelf-liefde de sleutel !

Je kan het concept van jezelf, jouw identiteit, wie je werkelijk bent zelf kiezen maar je kiest ervoor om jezelf te beperken ! Begin met jezelf graag te zien en te accepteren voor wie je bent. Eer jezelf dagelijks, je bent het waard net als eender iemand anders !

Het moment dat je jezelf beoordeelde, gaf je jouw kracht weg. Niemand, geen enkele gedachte, gevoel of situatie kan jou raken, tenzij je zelf kiest dit toe te staan. Het is enkel jouw perspectief op alles dat dit kan doen.

Neem het als taak op om vandaag niet over jezelf of anderen te oordelen ! Bekritiseer jezelf niet, maar observeer alle dingen zonder er een betekenis op te plakken ! Wees dankbaar voor jouw leven, apprecieer wat je al hebt ! Voel liefde voor jezelf, vergeef jezelf !

Stop om alles in jouw leven in vakjes van goed en slecht te steken en de shift in jouw leven zal starten !

 

When you say that you are depressed, know that you are not depressed. The real you isn’t depressed, your real self has always been there : unchangable, unmovable, unaffected. It is your mind that chooses to think depressing thoughts all over again. It is a construct of the mind, a defense mechanism.  That part has been made up by you and by the influence of others, and is kept alive by your beliefs. Your ego is struggling !

Your thoughts are trapped in the illusion of time by judging the now, you constantly bring your mind in the past or the future, trying to control time. The ego can’t live in the now because of its habit to judge ! The moment you judge the present moment you are not living in the now anymore ! Observe the moment, observe yourself without judgment and everything will fall in place.

Look in the mirror : what do you normally say to yourself ? Did your negative self talk become a habit ? Know you’ve created it yourself and that you can undo it yourself too ! It seems hard or unnatural because you’re simply not used to putting in so much positivity in yourself ! Start choosing to love yourself and accept yourself. Honor yourself daily !

You can choose the concept of yourself, your identity (who you are) but you limit yourself. The moment you began judging yourself, you started giving your power away ! No one person, thought, feeling, circumstance can harm you unless you choose to allow it. It is your perspective of harm that creates harm for you.

Don’t judge yourself nor others ! Don’t critizise yourself or others but observe everything without judgement and start appreciating and be thankful for your life ! Love yourself ! Appreciate yourself ! Forgive yourself !

Stop judging the rights and the wrongs in your life and the shift will start !

Phuro! Be inspired!