Best buddies…

Do you have a buddy, a BFF, someone you tell all your secrets to, who is always there for you, usually at the right time and the right place ?

Have you ever been wondering why helping others seems to be a piece of cake for them ? Why everything they say and do is so “spot on” and natural ? It’s like they are God sent !

No doubt about it : Having a good buddy is like having a personal coach or a mentor ! Consider yourself lucky when you have one at your disposal !

Buddies…Who are they, what drives them ? Let’s have a look at some of their characteristics and maybe – most importantly – how you can turn into one of them too…

Buddies always listen !

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Because of their empathic nature they are careful listeners and are able to read between the lines. “I’m fine !” “Really ? What a load of bollocks darling !”

No need to beat around the bush, no bullshitting them ! They will get to the core almost immediately !

Even when you lose the plot or are going collywobbles, they don’t judge, they don’t blame. They know who you truly are and that this is just a silly phase you’re going through…

You are only experiencing a moment of temporary insanity !

Buddies believe !

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They are here to help you keep your dreams alive ! They know when you are sabotaging your progress and they easily spot the people around you killing your vibe !

Their mission is to help you deal with the hooligans from your past and to release them for good.

They help you beat the bullies in the present and give you tools to stop the belittling, the jealousy and the hatred.

They believe in you when no one else does, with them you are never completely alone or lost ! They will never give up on you !

Buddies inspire !

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They show you how to keep moving forward, heading up high !

They know how to keep you motivated ! They stimulate you and inspire you in different ways…

They poke you and sometimes even provoke you ! “And…cut ! Action !”

“Can’t, must, won’t, impossible,…” are words that have been erased out of their dictionnary. “Who said it can’t be done ? Bob’s your uncle !”

Buddies go all the way !

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Don’t ask how they do it…They always have a plan and it’s usually as hot as their pants ! Expect the unexpected or things to happen accidentally on purpose !

They know how to put things in higher gear and will always go the full monty with you !

Buddies care !

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Buddies care and take care of things ! They sense when words are useless and when you are in need of a good hug, a reassuring hand on the shoulder or a distraction from your worries.

They will support you and surprise you with unusual gifts to show their appreciation. They will take you for a walk, let you sing karaoke or maybe will go bungee jumping with you !

Everything they do is done wholeheartedly, with the intention to lift you up higher !

Buddies cheer you up !

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Buddies are genuine and honest, they are hardly able to tell a lie. They carry their heart on their tongue and can sometimes be offensive towards others…

Strangely enough they always get away with it, as they are charming as hell and…well,  they are as cool as a cucumber !

They are such fun to be around, they always look at the bright side of life ! They are always positive and excited ! They are so full of beans !

And last but not least they are always in for a fabulous joke that results in a good belly laugh !

Their motto : “Don’t worry ! Be happy !”

Phuro! Be inspired!

 

 

More than fun !

I am looking forward to next sunday as Reflex goalkeepers school, where I volunteer as mental coach have their season’s celebration !

Their last practise of the season is finished in style :  the kids receive their certificate, often in presence of a well known soccer player and everyone is treated to a delicious bbq !

My reward for the kids is as usual play ! Spring time is “Phuro bubbles” time and excellent time to get the kids out of their heads and back in play mode !

Why are these large inflatable balls helpful and useful in coaching…?

The fun factor !

There is nothing more motivating than to have fun in sports ! It really isn’t all about seriousness and performances all the time…Keep it balanced and avoid too much  pressure.

Besides the hard work you already put in your practises, you have to be able to blow off steam regularly…

Bubble soccer seems scary at first but once you find out you really can’t hurt yourself, you can loosen up and have fun ! Then the giggling and screaming usually starts…

Isn’t it wonderful to see happy faces ?

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A physical challenge !

Playing bubble soccer is a physical challenge ! Luckily the players are in good shape ! The parents are often curious and excited to try it out aswell, but many of them admit, they wake up the next morning having muscle pain all over their bodies !

Ten minutes to the max and everyone is out of air and thursty as hell ! It is very important to hydrate regularly when you’re playing !

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Upside down !

Mental coaching is learning kids how to focus again. It often means putting things “upside down”, putting things back in perspective, creating a different outlook on things !

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A mental challenge

Besides physical strength the right mental attitude is necessary to be more resilient to vicious tackles !

Visualisations

As you know famous soccer players like to use visualisations before playing an important game. In bubble soccer the inflatable bubble is your protective suit.

If during a soccer game you have the tendency to shy away from the ball, you can create a imaginative protective shield around you just the size of the bubble ball.

Keep your self-talk positive : It’s your ball, you are going to take it !

Positive thoughts and emotions

To feel strong and to be strong you have to keep your thoughts positive ! You can use AK (Applied kinesiology) to see what effect your thoughts have on your body feeling and strength.

Negative thoughts and emotions will weaken your body, the positive ones will strengthen them. Keep that in mind when you tackle someone…The angry one isn’t always the strongest ! Who’s going to be the last man standing….?

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Our energy field

The bubble ball can be likened to your own natural energy field. Every living being (even our planet) has this energy field around its body. These fields can influence each other and are able to communicate with each other ! This isn’t about communication through language but through vibrations. Read more : We are electromagnetic beings

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Still believe learning new things can’t be fun ?

Phuro! Be inspired!

Cut it out bullies…

I don’t have to tell anyone the difference between a bully and a victim or an agressor and a defender. But what do bullies and their victims have in common?

They are both “unbalanced” and swing between anger and fear !

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Some kids grow up in harsh environments, without any signs of affection or words of support and appreciation. Some have to confront a bully at home, some are victim of verbal or physical abuse.

These children often become fearful, resentful or agressive. Some become bullies themselves as a way to cope with their life and deal with the pain. “Someone has to pay !”

Some are in search of someone they can control, who are an easy target for their verbal assaults or physical attacks, children who show signs of weakness, looking “weird” or react fearful.

The victim’s life will get worse if the bully isn’t stopped. The victim’s fear becomes frustration, the frustration becomes anger and is eventually spitted out on parents, sisters, brothers,…It causes a serious vicious cycle, everything is loaded !

Mental strength and emotional resilience

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Each time the bully shoots his arrows on you and you feel bad, he has found ground where his anger can settle and sprout ! Then you make it even worse with repetitive negative thoughts about yourself.

Knitted together they make a giant ball of frustration, difficult to untangle ! Ever had a chewing gum in your hair ? That kind of nasty thing ! You’ll have to come up with an ingenious solution if you do not want it to turn into a complete mess !

Self analysis * change * transformation

Freeze it on spot !

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You are not freaking out this time ! Be an iceman : let them fire their fiery flames ! You will build a huge icewall to protect yourself. The flames will have vanished before they can hit you ! That cold icy layer and that cold freezing air around you makes you untouchable for these attacks. “Is that all they got ?” Brush yourself off !!

Tip : There’s a breathing and relaxing method called the Freeze frame technique developed by Heart Math institute that can help you stay calm in case of emergency.

Energy level

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What is your current energy level ? How is your health ? Are you eating the right food ? Do you have any physical pain, where does it hurt ?  What is your overall body feeling

When emotions accumulate they cause stress and dis-ease in your body, they will make your body go weak.

Tips : Eat plenty of natural and fresh food. Don’t self-medicate !

Thoughts & beliefs

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Write down your repetitive thoughts about the situation, about yourself, about the bully. What kind of thoughts are you constantly chewing on ? Your thoughts will eighter be occupied by something in the past or something in the future !

Where’s your self-talk heading ? How do you describe yourself ? What are words or sentences you frequently use ?

Tips : Make your self-talk positive. Learn to visualize a good outcome. Focus on the positive. Be courageous ! Have a role play with friends or family to practise some good one-liners !

Emotions & feelings

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Your habitual thoughts will cause you to imagine different kind of scenarios. A doom scenario in your head will usually result in a bad feeling. How often do you repeat previous attacks in your mind, each time experiencing the emotions again ? You can already feel fearful because of what tomorrow brings. Before you know you are in a vicious cycle with continious vicious results.

Tips : Focus your attention on things that feel good, let go of bad feelings instead of storing them in your body. Learn how to relax and do breathing exercices. Focus on heart feelings ! Anger issues : find some tips here : Throwing a tantrum ?

Triggers

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Is there something out of your control ? Something or someone in your surroundings that actually worsens the whole thing ?

Do you have supportive family or friends ? When yes, spit all your worries out !

Tips : Too sad, too lonely, too depressed ? Seek help ! Suicidal, someone threatens you ? Seek help !

Social behavior

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What is your attitude and style around other people ? How’s your walk and talk ? Are you walking with your shoulders up or down ? Are you facing the ground or looking around ? Do you want to control people all the time or are you the one being controlled ? Are you shy or bossy ?  What kind of behavior of others triggers you ?

Tips : Practise your attitude in front of a mirror, look confident, stand straight ! Make eye contact when you talk to someone ! Tell your affirmations out loud in front of the mirror every day !

“When did a dragon ever die of the poison of a snake ?”

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All these things are related, and you will find out that when you bring a positive change in one section another will soon follow. Use the tips and you will surely get positive results !

Your own thoughts and emotions can be your biggest monsters and the most challenging  but you are always in control of them and you are able to change them ! When you face the fears inside the bully often disappears outside !

Phuro! Be inspired!

What do you want to be ?

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks.

Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.”

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Sometimes I am censoring myself. I confess I deleted a whole sentence the other day. I thought I was exaggerating, I thought I was too sarcastic…

So I removed it and “swallowed my words back in” so to speak ! Untill I heard something on the news, they were talking about IT…

The news anchor said that more children are going to fitness clubs these days.

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Well that’s a good thing isn’t it ?

Yes, our children do need strong and healthy physical bodies ! Why do all these kids suddenly want to become super healthy…?

It’s not about health at all ! It’s all about “showing-off”. The boys want to show off their six packs and be able to “kick ass”. The girls just want to look like a supermodel or a superstar !

They interviewed a 14-year-old in that fitness club whose idol, whose example is Kim Kardashian. She wants to “look like” Kim Kardashian and have a lot of followers on Instagram…

“We are still far from truth when Kim K’s ass has more followers then the personal page of Nassim Haramein”… That’s the sentence that I deleted…

“Nassim who ?”

“Yes kids keep your FOCUS…”

And cherry on the cake…

Our national soccer federation has chosen the artist Damso to sing the official World Cup song…

Famous lyrics of him are : “Nasty slut, just shut the fuck up…” and things like that…

Well done guys ! Great example for our kids !

Seriously….Where are you heading ?

Silence isn’t an option, I’m gonna get that rhythm back !

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Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory” Bruce Lee

Phuro! Be inspired!

 

Throwing a tantrum ?

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Ugly tackle on the field…Damn referee ! A nasty driver cut you off and you got a speeding ticket ! The rain just ruined your hair…and you spilled your cup of coffee all over the place ! You got bullied…School sucks !

Throwing a temper tantrum ? Need anger management ? Let us take these quick tips into consideration to get you in a calm state again !

Remove yourself from the scene !

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Whenever it is possible : REMOVE yourself from the scene. Respect the people around you. They too could have had a bad hair day ! If you are harmful to other people and you continue your actions, know that you can or will be removed abruptly or violently. So you decide…it’s up to you whether you create more drama or STOP it !

Do something else !

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Get totally lost in another activity. Cleaning, cooking, fitness, jogging,…Get rid off excessive energy. Run, run, run your lungs out. Punch a pillow.

Precautions have to be taken when driving a vehicle. Traffic can trigger agressive behaviour !

Clear your mind

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Was your sister that annoying that you considered pulling her hair out ? Maybe there were already early signs of frustration present within you. When you woke up this morning, you could barely get out of bed, you were late and had to speed things up to be on time…and then she started to…

Today is a new canvas you can paint on, leave your dark colors in the drawer, leave your quarrels, arguments and grudges behind. You will feel instant relief from this mess and stress in your head when you don’t cooperate with it anymore. Don’t get pulled into drama all the time !

Calm down !

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Create a space of your own where you can withdraw when neccessary. Prepare yourself a nice spot and make it cosy and comfortable. Do a lot of breathing exercices. Try to meditate…If you find meditation useless : Don’t feel bad but seek another calming activity : go for a walk in nature, listen to suiting music, read a book or take a nap !

Find your happy place !

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Use your imagination to create a happy place just for yourself. Close your eyes and imagine a place where you are in total peace and harmony. Your happy place can be somewhere on vacation at the beach while you are looking at a sunset, maybe you imagine having 100 puppies around that need cuddling ! You are having a big rave…Or you find yourself having a walking closet with 1000 shoes in it…

Can you feel it ?

Find a cuddle buddy !

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Do you have a special friend who can bring you back to your senses in no time ? Now is the time to make that call. Wherever they are or whatever they are doing, trust that they will try to do anything to assist you.

Being able to cuddle someone physically present is the quickest solution and will melt away anger and frustration in seconds. Do not contaminate the other with your toxic words or behavior. Just surrender to the loving feeling…

There you go…

Seek help !

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If none of this helps and you or your environment suffer, when you know that your temper can go terribly wrong and you might want to hurt yourself or cause any harm to other beings, seek professional help ! A lot of dedicated professionals are ready to assist you !

Phuro! Be inspired!