His name is Zorro

Then from out of the night a hero must rise

With courage that even a mask won’t disguise

Last week my son and I were watching the Walking Dead together, there was a scene in which Daryl and his dog were trying to mislead the zombies and prevent them from walking towards the village.

Every time Daryl wanted to draw his dog’s attention, he shouted : “Dog, come here ! Dog ! Dog !”

“How weird mom !”, my son mentioned, “Daryl’s dog doesn’t even have a name !”

“Daryl is just trying to protect himself.”, I said. Keith gave me that interrogating look so I explained…

chiots de Canelle nés le 09-10-2006 055

“Daryl is protecting himself from future hurt.” I said. “That’s why he doesn’t give his dog a name, he’s afraid he might attach to the animal and become too close with it.”

“Once you give an animal a name, it becomes part of your family, it becomes a friend. Once you give it a name, you are responsible for it, you choose to care for it and to love it for the rest of its life !”, I said.


Unfortunately we were all confronted with the meaning of my words two days later…

Keith found him at the first staircase and immediately alarmed me. “Mom, hurry, there’s something wrong with Zorro.” Our twelve year old companion, a Jack Russel mix, must have had a seizure or stroke when he wanted to go upstairs to go to sleep in our bedroom.

We saw that his condition was serious ! He was heavily breathing. My friend picked him up and laid him on the couch where we immediately started CPR, in meantime blowing extra oxigen through his mouth ! I thought he was going to make it ! After 5 minutes he completely stretched out, from head to toes, followed by a sigh !

The final sigh…I quickly realized he had breathed out his last breath and that we all had been witness of his passing. He must have wanted it this way, surrounded by his family…but I was completely in shock ! My cries must have alerted the whole neighbourhood !

What followed was a sleepless night filled with tears and incredible heartache. Why ? Why this sudden loss ? One day after celebrating my birthday…The pains I had to endure in the past crossed my mind, including all the fears dragging behind them. Fear of abandonment, fear of losing the people I love…


I tried to remind myself of my personal mantra, Release, relax and recreate !, the one I use to deal with the incoming energies and to transmute whatever comes up to the surface personally and collectively.

“These are only remnants of the old, don’t let them occupy any space in your consciousness !”, I told myself. If I were to leave 3D behind I had to transcend these feelings of loss aswell as all the fears attaching to them.

I had to let go of all illusions overshadowing death. I needed to let go of my pain, not inflicting it on Zorro…


I needed to let go any feeling of wanting to control the situation and leave my furry friend the freedom to enjoy his new life in whatever way he wishes to experience it.

I needed to remind myself that this is just a new transition, that I was allowed to smile and to be happy for him and wish our loved one, family member, friend, companion and hero, whose name is Zorro, a magnificent new journey…

In loving memory of Zorro 09/10/2006 – 28/11/2018 You are Always in our hearts !

Phuro! Be inspired!




Sky & sand

A friend of ours used to have a snack bar in our neighbourhood. One evening my son ran to the counter and ordered french fries and a burger, he mentioned to our friend that he didn’t like the sesame seeds on the bun !

Our friend immediately took a burger bun and started scraping off the seeds…

I started laughing. ”What are you doing silly, you don’t have to do that you know, stop that ! You are treating my son like a king.” I said.

He turned to me : “If the boy wants a burger without those tiny bastards, he will have one !”

Before I could even reply he continued : “Shall I remind you of one of your house rules lady : “The Queen doesn’t cook on Friday !”  “Well today is my turn to treat him like a King !” He winked at my son who already had a big smile on his face !

There was no point in arguing with him so I rested my case ! Our conversations were always quite loud and joyful, we liked to tease each other !


But months later our plans to have french fries for dinner were disturbed, the doors from our friend’s bar were closed and stayed closed. Closed as in forever closed…

He had killed himself the night before. We were all in shock. How was that possible ?

He was fully prepared and had it all planned. He had written his last wishes on paper for his family. One of them was to play “Sky and sand” at his funeral.

That’s the reason why some weeks later, I found myself in tears at a wedding party when the DJ played this song. Although it used to be one of my favourites, I was now instantly reminded of darkness and death !

There I was asking myself : “Why ? Why you ? What were you thinking ? Why was your soul in such pain ? Why didn’t you shout out and ask for help ?”


He was already the third one who decided to step out of life and hang himself. The weight of those three fell on me, through that song, that night on the dancefloor…

Music touches our soul directly and is able to remind us of the good times and the bad times. It can bring back joyful and painful memories and trigger our deepest sadness or happiness !

It took me a while to get over the sadness and grief that I had linked to the song and to really appreciate it again without shedding tears.

I now see its beauty again and when I hear it I think about all those beautiful souls and the good times we had !

As long as we are flying, all this world ain’t got no end !


Phuro! Be inspired!

Rebirth !

We all tend to highlight big changes in our life and share our moments of glory and grief with our loved ones. We celebrate endings and new beginnings. We bring out a toast to the new born and the just married. We raise our glasses to the death and the divorced…

Now imagine : you’ve invited your family and friends for a drink…No one really knows the reason why you are throwing this party or what kind of news you are about to tell them…


But at a given moment you demand their attention and state :

“I have a confession to make…” All eyes on you off course…

“I’ve been deceiving all of you for quite a while now….” The curiosity of your public raises…

“All these years I pretented to be someone I wasn’t and I covered myself up to meet all your needs and expectations…” Rumors all over the place….

The guessing has started…A friend shouts : “Don’t tell ! I know ! You are coming out !”

You (kind of) ignore the tumult. You bring your audience back to silence, raise your glass and you continue your speech :

“Today I would like to bring out a toast to life ! Real life ! I mean : Life as it was meant to be. Today I invite all of you to celebrate the birth of a new me.”

Auntie Claudia already gives you that look as if you’re coming from Mars. Some of your cousins start quarreling : “What the hell is she talking about ?”

Uncle Bill displays his wisdom : “Have you lost your mind, girl ?”

“Well, uncle Bill now that you come up with it. It actually feels quite liberating !”

Some have lost their tongues, unable to speak ; all they can do is stare at you…


Courageously you continue :

“It means that I am putting an end to my self-inflicted pain and I now choose to go pain-free. I no longer sustain the belief in my negative thoughts. They can no longer count on my participation, I let them go and choose truth instead.”

“It means I am stripping off the lies that I have been told and I no longer resist or deny my own creative powers. I no longer put effort in things that cause me to move away from my essence, leaving me in pain.”

“It means that today I choose life instead of death and I clear my perception of anything that is less than perfect. I now transcend the long time trauma inflicted on me.”

It means I am completely free from the shackles of the past and choose to live in the eternal now !”


Phuro! Be inspired!