Show some respect !

It’s saturday and I am preparing myself to play a soccer game with my team ! I am completely motivated, I can’t wait to be on the field…Let the game begin !

Today is a very special day : it is bring-your-family-to-soccer day ! And boy oh boy am I lucky ! A bunch of people are already in line to accompany me to the game ! My angry dad, my overacting mom, my annoying sister, my agressive cousin, my drunk uncle and our-know-it-all friend of the family…

Jeez….What could possibly go wrong…

When cheering becomes jeering…

My angry dad


I recognized a pattern after all these years. At first he told me what to do on the field, followed by throwing insults at me. It infected my play and I regularly lost focus…

His remarks often leave me wondering why I am still playing football, he says I suck afterall…

I learned how to deal with his behaviour, one day I just stopped listening to him, I imagined carrying a remote control on me, and I muted him whenever I wanted it !

However, now that I am immune to his insults, he has turned his anger towards someone else and he spits his frustration out on other people !

My overacting mom


She can really embarrass me. Her voice usually overrules any sound around. My teammembers always give me that look, I just know how much they feel sorry for me…

Tackled and lying on the field ? A bleeding nose ? There she is running on the field towards me like a desperate animal, a headless chicken, she’s losing it !

No challenging duels for her ! How dare anyone attack me – her son for godsake – and steal the ball ? Next thing you know, I turn my head and she’s already punching my opponent or taking him by the ears…

My annoying sister 

maxresdefault (1)

She is able to shy away the grass beneath our feet. My teammembers stare at her. She seems to be able to hypnotize a whole crowd. She always wants to steal the show. Whenever she is around, it’s all eyes on her !

I am often obliged to install a buffer zone around her or to tie her up so she can’t escape…What do people see in her ? She’s such a spoiled brat….

My agressive cousin


It is easy to find him in the crowd, he always catches attention and he can’t sit still for a single minute !

He’s not really here to watch my game, that’s not interesting at all ! He likes to bully everyone around, he’s here trying to trigger people for a fight. He calls himself a hooligan.

He even wants me to lose, so he can be emotionally upset, destroy other people’s property and leave a trail of destruction behind. He is often in company of :

My drunk uncle


I wonder what’s wrong with him when I don’t see him carrying a beer in his hands. Things can turn around very rapidly in soccer…so with uncle Eddy : he can morph from teddy to creep within seconds ! Once he’s loaded he’s going completely bananas…

He touches anything on two legs and usually remembers absolutely nothing afterwards. Alcohol is his excuse for everything that goes wrong : spirit made him grab the pussy !

Our know-it-all friend


Did you spot him already ? Who invited him ? That arrogant prick, always wanting it bigger and better, always wanting to be right. Mr. Know-it-all ! He wants to be my manager and make me great again huh ???

He corrects my coach, tells him he’s a loser…According to him the ref doesn’t know anything about soccer. In his days things were a lot different, my whole club just sucks !


tenor (4)

It’s not okay !

It’s not okay when each time you are playing a game, you have to worry what insults your dad is going to yell this time.

It’s not okay when your mother is always there shaking things up !

It’s not okay when supporters are verbally abusive towards you, calling you names, belittling you, swearing at you…Thug, diver, bully,…

You should have fun playing the game and enjoy learning to play, free from adult interference and intimidation !


Silent sidelines

A lot of clubs are working towards silent sidelines these days. They often receive angry emails from the parents afterwards…

“What’s the point of watching the game, when we can’t yell and scream and be supportive ?”

We’re not telling that a grandmother saying “good job” to her grandson, all of sudden needs to shut up, or that you can’t use uplifting words to motivate your son.

Things are different when children become ashamed of parental behaviour, when there’s verbal abuse or physical assault towards other spectators, the ref, other players and not to forget : their own children !

If supportive means being respectful towards EVERYONE that would be wonderful ! But I’m sure some are benefitted with guidelines when it comes to tempering their emotions…

Continual verbal attacks thrown back at each other or at the children on the field… heckling the ref…. this kind of behaviour often leads to physical violence !

Put everything back in perspective ! Show some respect ! We are all human !


Phuro! Be inspired!



Cut it out bullies…

I don’t have to tell anyone the difference between a bully and a victim or an agressor and a defender. But what do bullies and their victims have in common?

They are both “unbalanced” and swing between anger and fear !


Some kids grow up in harsh environments, without any signs of affection or words of support and appreciation. Some have to confront a bully at home, some are victim of verbal or physical abuse.

These children often become fearful, resentful or agressive. Some become bullies themselves as a way to cope with their life and deal with the pain. “Someone has to pay !”

Some are in search of someone they can control, who are an easy target for their verbal assaults or physical attacks, children who show signs of weakness, looking “weird” or react fearful.

The victim’s life will get worse if the bully isn’t stopped. The victim’s fear becomes frustration, the frustration becomes anger and is eventually spitted out on parents, sisters, brothers,…It causes a serious vicious cycle, everything is loaded !

Mental strength and emotional resilience


Each time the bully shoots his arrows on you and you feel bad, he has found ground where his anger can settle and sprout ! Then you make it even worse with repetitive negative thoughts about yourself.

Knitted together they make a giant ball of frustration, difficult to untangle ! Ever had a chewing gum in your hair ? That kind of nasty thing ! You’ll have to come up with an ingenious solution if you do not want it to turn into a complete mess !

Self analysis * change * transformation

Freeze it on spot !

giphy (7)

You are not freaking out this time ! Be an iceman : let them fire their fiery flames ! You will build a huge icewall to protect yourself. The flames will have vanished before they can hit you ! That cold icy layer and that cold freezing air around you makes you untouchable for these attacks. “Is that all they got ?” Brush yourself off !!

Tip : There’s a breathing and relaxing method called the Freeze frame technique developed by Heart Math institute that can help you stay calm in case of emergency.

Energy level


What is your current energy level ? How is your health ? Are you eating the right food ? Do you have any physical pain, where does it hurt ?  What is your overall body feeling

When emotions accumulate they cause stress and dis-ease in your body, they will make your body go weak.

Tips : Eat plenty of natural and fresh food. Don’t self-medicate !

Thoughts & beliefs

tenor (3)

Write down your repetitive thoughts about the situation, about yourself, about the bully. What kind of thoughts are you constantly chewing on ? Your thoughts will eighter be occupied by something in the past or something in the future !

Where’s your self-talk heading ? How do you describe yourself ? What are words or sentences you frequently use ?

Tips : Make your self-talk positive. Learn to visualize a good outcome. Focus on the positive. Be courageous ! Have a role play with friends or family to practise some good one-liners !

Emotions & feelings


Your habitual thoughts will cause you to imagine different kind of scenarios. A doom scenario in your head will usually result in a bad feeling. How often do you repeat previous attacks in your mind, each time experiencing the emotions again ? You can already feel fearful because of what tomorrow brings. Before you know you are in a vicious cycle with continious vicious results.

Tips : Focus your attention on things that feel good, let go of bad feelings instead of storing them in your body. Learn how to relax and do breathing exercices. Focus on heart feelings ! Anger issues : find some tips here : Throwing a tantrum ?


original (1).gif

Is there something out of your control ? Something or someone in your surroundings that actually worsens the whole thing ?

Do you have supportive family or friends ? When yes, spit all your worries out !

Tips : Too sad, too lonely, too depressed ? Seek help ! Suicidal, someone threatens you ? Seek help !

Social behavior


What is your attitude and style around other people ? How’s your walk and talk ? Are you walking with your shoulders up or down ? Are you facing the ground or looking around ? Do you want to control people all the time or are you the one being controlled ? Are you shy or bossy ?  What kind of behavior of others triggers you ?

Tips : Practise your attitude in front of a mirror, look confident, stand straight ! Make eye contact when you talk to someone ! Tell your affirmations out loud in front of the mirror every day !

“When did a dragon ever die of the poison of a snake ?”


All these things are related, and you will find out that when you bring a positive change in one section another will soon follow. Use the tips and you will surely get positive results !

Your own thoughts and emotions can be your biggest monsters and the most challenging  but you are always in control of them and you are able to change them ! When you face the fears inside the bully often disappears outside !

Phuro! Be inspired!