Me minus drama !

Although everyone is looking for happiness, the search is futile because what you are looking for exists already here now. You’ll be happy once you are living a life you don’t need to escape from !

What keeps you away from this ultimate freedom are your thoughts that you constantly project to past or future events, leaving you unhappy.

So you need distractions from life and as a way to cope with the sadness and pain you create all kind of diversions, but you are not really able to experience true happiness !

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Maybe you had a fabulous weekend and had fun with friends, but soon that monday morning feeling kicked in and you were sucked back into misery and meaninglessness.

Life is painful for many people and many suffer from mental health issues ! They’re not feeling good in their skin, even youngsters are already exhausted from life or feeling too apathetic to participate in life !

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Happiness to me is a state of being in the now, being fully present. Unbounded, non attached. It is ME MINUS DRAMA !

It is free from complaints and compliance to life’s situations that drag me in darkness and depression.

It is free from the pressure to perform and free from the pain of going against my grain so I don’t feel burned out or bored out anymore.

It is stripped off the belief that life is a struggle and a survival of the strongest !

It is consciously choosing how to react to life and interact with the people around me !

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When something goes wrong, are you going in the same direction ? Are you participating in negativity, adding fuel to the fire ?

Are you rather passive or apathetic towards what happens around you ? You don’t care, that’s their problem, whatever,…!

Or do you decide to be the observer and be present, completely balanced and centered, being able to choose the way that is non judgmental and feels good to all ?

WHO ARE YOU MINUS THE DRAMA ?

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Phuro! Be inspired!

It ain’t over till…

What a World Cup full of surprises ! We have seen several soccer giants leave early…exit Spain, Portugal, Germany…but hey we are still in the running for the title ! Belgium believes !

On june 23th we had the opportunity to watch the game Belgium-Tunisia in the VRT studios in Brussels ! We were all excited and watched our team win the game with 5-2 ! The tone was set !

I also had the chance to talk about my mental coaching project with Sporza’s tv anchor Carl Van Nieuwkerke !

 

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Then there was the thriller against Japan with the finishing goal in the last minute. It gave our team a boost ! When they asked Kevin De Bruyne what the Devils were planning to do against Brazil, he was very confident : “We are going for the win !”

The non-believers and pessimists told us we didn’t have a chance…but we knew better : Anything is possible ! What seemed to be a challenge turned into a piece of cake ! Our devils had their wings on and Neymar and his friends were chanceless against a strong  Belgium.

Result : yelling and screaming supporters, tears of joy and lots of beer afterwards…It was a long night 🙂 Some woke up voiceless, some with a serious hangover but all extremely satisfied !

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Tuesday evening the crowd will again support our team from every corner in the country, at home with family and friends or in the several soccer villages where you can watch the game on screen.

Watch out la douce France for the Belgian wrecking ball ! We have smelled the victory and are going for it !

It ain’t over for our boys. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings ! I am sure Belgium plans to keep her quiet till our team comes home with the Cup !

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Phuro! Be inspired!

The power of imagination

Life is a process of learning, unlearning and relearning.

Remember when they told you : “It’s just your imagination ! Put your dreams away ! You can’t do that !”

Let the words of the greatest convince you of the power of your imagination !

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Be inspired!

Silence is a savior

It was a normal Sunday morning when Richard and his son were heading off to football together…Richard was among those parents who liked to help out at the club where his son played, and he enjoyed running the line during his son’s matches.

But by the end of the day Richard was fighting for his life. The 41-year-old collapsed three hours after he was brutally attacked by a group of 17-year-olds from the opposing team. The following evening he died.

If we don’t control our emotions, they will control us. Making us unwittingly take actions we regret afterwards, making us react in a harmful way…

What would be the consequences if we let our anger and rage win ? Things can get out of hand rapidly…the unexpected can happen very suddenly…

What would happen once the damage has been done and there’s no turning back ? We would have to face the consequences !

When we feel triggered to react in a negative way, it is useful to build in a pause for a few moments and to focus on our breathing so we can get back to our senses.

Silence is the space between stimulus and response, between action and reaction.

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Silence is a savior. A significant mindful tool that can save us from a life full of regrets. Silence can prevent us from saying something nasty… Silence can even prevent us from acting stupid and getting us into bigger trouble…

Silence is a comforter. Silence brings back calmness and peace in case of turbulence. Silence quiets our minds and stills are senses. In solitude we withdraw and turn back to ourselves. Silence is the place where we really touch our core.

Silence is the space in which we bend time. It is the most effective time to pray or affirm. It’s a powerful aid to bring wisdom and awareness to our spiritual eye.

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Silence is a natural influencer, unable to be controlled by outside forces. Silence balances and counters all verbal and physical attacks. Silence helps us bounce back after a setback.

In silence, confidence is found. In silence our shadow is integrated and all the aspects of ourselves are reconciled.

Silence is the place of unlimited possibilities. In silence we reclaim our power, in silence we make ourselves whole again.

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Phuro! Be inspired!

Show some respect !

It’s saturday and I am preparing myself to play a soccer game with my team ! I am completely motivated, I can’t wait to be on the field…Let the game begin !

Today is a very special day : it is bring-your-family-to-soccer day ! And boy oh boy am I lucky ! A bunch of people are already in line to accompany me to the game ! My angry dad, my overacting mom, my annoying sister, my agressive cousin, my drunk uncle and our-know-it-all friend of the family…

Jeez….What could possibly go wrong…

When cheering becomes jeering…

My angry dad

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I recognized a pattern after all these years. At first he told me what to do on the field, followed by throwing insults at me. It infected my play and I regularly lost focus…

His remarks often leave me wondering why I am still playing football, he says I suck afterall…

I learned how to deal with his behaviour, one day I just stopped listening to him, I imagined carrying a remote control on me, and I muted him whenever I wanted it !

However, now that I am immune to his insults, he has turned his anger towards someone else and he spits his frustration out on other people !

My overacting mom

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She can really embarrass me. Her voice usually overrules any sound around. My teammembers always give me that look, I just know how much they feel sorry for me…

Tackled and lying on the field ? A bleeding nose ? There she is running on the field towards me like a desperate animal, a headless chicken, she’s losing it !

No challenging duels for her ! How dare anyone attack me – her son for godsake – and steal the ball ? Next thing you know, I turn my head and she’s already punching my opponent or taking him by the ears…

My annoying sister 

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She is able to shy away the grass beneath our feet. My teammembers stare at her. She seems to be able to hypnotize a whole crowd. She always wants to steal the show. Whenever she is around, it’s all eyes on her !

I am often obliged to install a buffer zone around her or to tie her up so she can’t escape…What do people see in her ? She’s such a spoiled brat….

My agressive cousin

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It is easy to find him in the crowd, he always catches attention and he can’t sit still for a single minute !

He’s not really here to watch my game, that’s not interesting at all ! He likes to bully everyone around, he’s here trying to trigger people for a fight. He calls himself a hooligan.

He even wants me to lose, so he can be emotionally upset, destroy other people’s property and leave a trail of destruction behind. He is often in company of :

My drunk uncle

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I wonder what’s wrong with him when I don’t see him carrying a beer in his hands. Things can turn around very rapidly in soccer…so with uncle Eddy : he can morph from teddy to creep within seconds ! Once he’s loaded he’s going completely bananas…

He touches anything on two legs and usually remembers absolutely nothing afterwards. Alcohol is his excuse for everything that goes wrong : spirit made him grab the pussy !

Our know-it-all friend

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Did you spot him already ? Who invited him ? That arrogant prick, always wanting it bigger and better, always wanting to be right. Mr. Know-it-all ! He wants to be my manager and make me great again huh ???

He corrects my coach, tells him he’s a loser…According to him the ref doesn’t know anything about soccer. In his days things were a lot different, my whole club just sucks !

 

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It’s not okay !

It’s not okay when each time you are playing a game, you have to worry what insults your dad is going to yell this time.

It’s not okay when your mother is always there shaking things up !

It’s not okay when supporters are verbally abusive towards you, calling you names, belittling you, swearing at you…Thug, diver, bully,…

You should have fun playing the game and enjoy learning to play, free from adult interference and intimidation !

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Silent sidelines

A lot of clubs are working towards silent sidelines these days. They often receive angry emails from the parents afterwards…

“What’s the point of watching the game, when we can’t yell and scream and be supportive ?”

We’re not telling that a grandmother saying “good job” to her grandson, all of sudden needs to shut up, or that you can’t use uplifting words to motivate your son.

Things are different when children become ashamed of parental behaviour, when there’s verbal abuse or physical assault towards other spectators, the ref, other players and not to forget : their own children !

If supportive means being respectful towards EVERYONE that would be wonderful ! But I’m sure some are benefitted with guidelines when it comes to tempering their emotions…

Continual verbal attacks thrown back at each other or at the children on the field… heckling the ref…. this kind of behaviour often leads to physical violence !

Put everything back in perspective ! Show some respect ! We are all human !

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Phuro! Be inspired!

 

Best buddies…

Do you have a buddy, a BFF, someone you tell all your secrets to, who is always there for you, usually at the right time and the right place ?

Have you ever been wondering why helping others seems to be a piece of cake for them ? Why everything they say and do is so “spot on” and natural ? It’s like they are God sent !

No doubt about it : Having a good buddy is like having a personal coach or a mentor ! Consider yourself lucky when you have one at your disposal !

Buddies…Who are they, what drives them ? Let’s have a look at some of their characteristics and maybe – most importantly – how you can turn into one of them too…

Buddies always listen !

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Because of their empathic nature they are careful listeners and are able to read between the lines. “I’m fine !” “Really ? What a load of bollocks darling !”

No need to beat around the bush, no bullshitting them ! They will get to the core almost immediately !

Even when you lose the plot or are going collywobbles, they don’t judge, they don’t blame. They know who you truly are and that this is just a silly phase you’re going through…

You are only experiencing a moment of temporary insanity !

Buddies believe !

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They are here to help you keep your dreams alive ! They know when you are sabotaging your progress and they easily spot the people around you killing your vibe !

Their mission is to help you deal with the hooligans from your past and to release them for good.

They help you beat the bullies in the present and give you tools to stop the belittling, the jealousy and the hatred.

They believe in you when no one else does, with them you are never completely alone or lost ! They will never give up on you !

Buddies inspire !

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They show you how to keep moving forward, heading up high !

They know how to keep you motivated ! They stimulate you and inspire you in different ways…

They poke you and sometimes even provoke you ! “And…cut ! Action !”

“Can’t, must, won’t, impossible,…” are words that have been erased out of their dictionnary. “Who said it can’t be done ? Bob’s your uncle !”

Buddies go all the way !

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Don’t ask how they do it…They always have a plan and it’s usually as hot as their pants ! Expect the unexpected or things to happen accidentally on purpose !

They know how to put things in higher gear and will always go the full monty with you !

Buddies care !

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Buddies care and take care of things ! They sense when words are useless and when you are in need of a good hug, a reassuring hand on the shoulder or a distraction from your worries.

They will support you and surprise you with unusual gifts to show their appreciation. They will take you for a walk, let you sing karaoke or maybe will go bungee jumping with you !

Everything they do is done wholeheartedly, with the intention to lift you up higher !

Buddies cheer you up !

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Buddies are genuine and honest, they are hardly able to tell a lie. They carry their heart on their tongue and can sometimes be offensive towards others…

Strangely enough they always get away with it, as they are charming as hell and…well,  they are as cool as a cucumber !

They are such fun to be around, they always look at the bright side of life ! They are always positive and excited ! They are so full of beans !

And last but not least they are always in for a fabulous joke that results in a good belly laugh !

Their motto : “Don’t worry ! Be happy !”

Phuro! Be inspired!

 

 

More than fun !

I am looking forward to next sunday as Reflex goalkeepers school, where I volunteer as mental coach have their season’s celebration !

Their last practise of the season is finished in style :  the kids receive their certificate, often in presence of a well known soccer player and everyone is treated to a delicious bbq !

My reward for the kids is as usual play ! Spring time is “Phuro bubbles” time and excellent time to get the kids out of their heads and back in play mode !

Why are these large inflatable balls helpful and useful in coaching…?

The fun factor !

There is nothing more motivating than to have fun in sports ! It really isn’t all about seriousness and performances all the time…Keep it balanced and avoid too much  pressure.

Besides the hard work you already put in your practises, you have to be able to blow off steam regularly…

Bubble soccer seems scary at first but once you find out you really can’t hurt yourself, you can loosen up and have fun ! Then the giggling and screaming usually starts…

Isn’t it wonderful to see happy faces ?

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A physical challenge !

Playing bubble soccer is a physical challenge ! Luckily the players are in good shape ! The parents are often curious and excited to try it out aswell, but many of them admit, they wake up the next morning having muscle pain all over their bodies !

Ten minutes to the max and everyone is out of air and thursty as hell ! It is very important to hydrate regularly when you’re playing !

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Upside down !

Mental coaching is learning kids how to focus again. It often means putting things “upside down”, putting things back in perspective, creating a different outlook on things !

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A mental challenge

Besides physical strength the right mental attitude is necessary to be more resilient to vicious tackles !

Visualisations

As you know famous soccer players like to use visualisations before playing an important game. In bubble soccer the inflatable bubble is your protective suit.

If during a soccer game you have the tendency to shy away from the ball, you can create a imaginative protective shield around you just the size of the bubble ball.

Keep your self-talk positive : It’s your ball, you are going to take it !

Positive thoughts and emotions

To feel strong and to be strong you have to keep your thoughts positive ! You can use AK (Applied kinesiology) to see what effect your thoughts have on your body feeling and strength.

Negative thoughts and emotions will weaken your body, the positive ones will strengthen them. Keep that in mind when you tackle someone…The angry one isn’t always the strongest ! Who’s going to be the last man standing….?

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Our energy field

The bubble ball can be likened to your own natural energy field. Every living being (even our planet) has this energy field around its body. These fields can influence each other and are able to communicate with each other ! This isn’t about communication through language but through vibrations. Read more : We are electromagnetic beings

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Still believe learning new things can’t be fun ?

Phuro! Be inspired!

Summoning a dragon

This is the story about a boy and his pets, a tiger and a snake. Pets the boy already had since birth, but that he was obliged to separate !

They couldn’t get along, they couldn’t stand each other ! Even being in the same room was painful, so he had them moved, the one far away from the other.

One lived in the eastern side of the castle, the other in the west. The boy had to walk miles each day to feed them and to have a small talk at best !

Snake and tiger often talked bad about each other ! They always gossiped or were trying to belittle one another.

One day the boy had enough of it, he became sick of all their quarrels and fights ! He couldn’t stand their hate anymore, he just wanted to play and laugh !

That day he decided to visit neither tiger nor snake ! A message was send to both, telling the boy’s health was at stake !

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The tiger started nervously walking back and forth on his isle.

“Snakes are sneaky snails !” the tiger said resentfully ! “Snake must have seduced the boy to keep him away from me !”

“She is probably up to no good”, the tiger thought, stroking his beard. “Maybe she’ll try to suffocate the boy !” He became furious and feared…

“The boy is in danger ! It is time for a fight ! I’ll be knocking at the snake’s door and I’ll kill her tonight !

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The snake was rising in suspicion and thought about a plan to murder the tiger too.

“That tiger must think he is smart, believing he can keep me and the boy forever apart ! I’ll teach him a ssserious lesson sssoon, tonight I sssneak out and kill him at full moon”.

Both animals went on a mission to claim back their rightful position !

That night was a thriller, they both met each other somewhere in the middle… There they were… ready for a fight, angry looks on their face, each showing their might !

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They were about to grab one another’s head, when they heard a cough coming out of a bed. They stopped their fight and looked dazzled. Next to their battle seemed to be the room where the boy was settled.

They decided to pause a while the fight, just to have a quick look at the boy and then end this matter once and for all tonight !

The boy opened his eyes and was amazed to see them both standing at his bed, they were holding his hands and praying God to restore his health.

The boy felt instantly better and gave a hug to both !

“Seeing you together as friends makes my heart full of joy ! You made my dream come true. This is a miracle !”, shouted the boy !”

Tiger and snake were now full of remorse, impressed by the boy’s precious love and incredible force.

The night the boy’s animals reconciled, a king was born with a dragon by his side !

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Make the magic happen and become a dragon…

Phuro! Be inspired!

How to win friends

The How to Win Friends IQ Matrix summarizes the classic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” written by Dale Carnegie. It helps to unlock ideas that will allow you to influence other people’s decisions, actions and behavior.

The article provides suggestions on how to influence people; pinpoints ways to make people like you, outlines techniques to win people over to your way of thinking, and much more. Read the full article : How to win friends and influence people

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Phuro! Be inspired!

Cut it out bullies…

I don’t have to tell anyone the difference between a bully and a victim or an agressor and a defender. But what do bullies and their victims have in common?

They are both “unbalanced” and swing between anger and fear !

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Some kids grow up in harsh environments, without any signs of affection or words of support and appreciation. Some have to confront a bully at home, some are victim of verbal or physical abuse.

These children often become fearful, resentful or agressive. Some become bullies themselves as a way to cope with their life and deal with the pain. “Someone has to pay !”

Some are in search of someone they can control, who are an easy target for their verbal assaults or physical attacks, children who show signs of weakness, looking “weird” or react fearful.

The victim’s life will get worse if the bully isn’t stopped. The victim’s fear becomes frustration, the frustration becomes anger and is eventually spitted out on parents, sisters, brothers,…It causes a serious vicious cycle, everything is loaded !

Mental strength and emotional resilience

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Each time the bully shoots his arrows on you and you feel bad, he has found ground where his anger can settle and sprout ! Then you make it even worse with repetitive negative thoughts about yourself.

Knitted together they make a giant ball of frustration, difficult to untangle ! Ever had a chewing gum in your hair ? That kind of nasty thing ! You’ll have to come up with an ingenious solution if you do not want it to turn into a complete mess !

Self analysis * change * transformation

Freeze it on spot !

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You are not freaking out this time ! Be an iceman : let them fire their fiery flames ! You will build a huge icewall to protect yourself. The flames will have vanished before they can hit you ! That cold icy layer and that cold freezing air around you makes you untouchable for these attacks. “Is that all they got ?” Brush yourself off !!

Tip : There’s a breathing and relaxing method called the Freeze frame technique developed by Heart Math institute that can help you stay calm in case of emergency.

Energy level

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What is your current energy level ? How is your health ? Are you eating the right food ? Do you have any physical pain, where does it hurt ?  What is your overall body feeling

When emotions accumulate they cause stress and dis-ease in your body, they will make your body go weak.

Tips : Eat plenty of natural and fresh food. Don’t self-medicate !

Thoughts & beliefs

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Write down your repetitive thoughts about the situation, about yourself, about the bully. What kind of thoughts are you constantly chewing on ? Your thoughts will eighter be occupied by something in the past or something in the future !

Where’s your self-talk heading ? How do you describe yourself ? What are words or sentences you frequently use ?

Tips : Make your self-talk positive. Learn to visualize a good outcome. Focus on the positive. Be courageous ! Have a role play with friends or family to practise some good one-liners !

Emotions & feelings

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Your habitual thoughts will cause you to imagine different kind of scenarios. A doom scenario in your head will usually result in a bad feeling. How often do you repeat previous attacks in your mind, each time experiencing the emotions again ? You can already feel fearful because of what tomorrow brings. Before you know you are in a vicious cycle with continious vicious results.

Tips : Focus your attention on things that feel good, let go of bad feelings instead of storing them in your body. Learn how to relax and do breathing exercices. Focus on heart feelings ! Anger issues : find some tips here : Throwing a tantrum ?

Triggers

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Is there something out of your control ? Something or someone in your surroundings that actually worsens the whole thing ?

Do you have supportive family or friends ? When yes, spit all your worries out !

Tips : Too sad, too lonely, too depressed ? Seek help ! Suicidal, someone threatens you ? Seek help !

Social behavior

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What is your attitude and style around other people ? How’s your walk and talk ? Are you walking with your shoulders up or down ? Are you facing the ground or looking around ? Do you want to control people all the time or are you the one being controlled ? Are you shy or bossy ?  What kind of behavior of others triggers you ?

Tips : Practise your attitude in front of a mirror, look confident, stand straight ! Make eye contact when you talk to someone ! Tell your affirmations out loud in front of the mirror every day !

“When did a dragon ever die of the poison of a snake ?”

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All these things are related, and you will find out that when you bring a positive change in one section another will soon follow. Use the tips and you will surely get positive results !

Your own thoughts and emotions can be your biggest monsters and the most challenging  but you are always in control of them and you are able to change them ! When you face the fears inside the bully often disappears outside !

Phuro! Be inspired!