We are more likely to remember the negative things than the positive. We also tend to focus on our shortcomings, our lack or our bad habits !
And of course a lot of people, especially the critics are immediately there to remind us of our former mistakes or our past failures ! One mistake, one bad choice and you are nailed to the cross or are looking towards a life time penance !
There are enough examples in the media : businessmen, sporters, actors, tumbling off their pedestal, once adored and idolized now despised, condemned and reviled ! It’s as we are always looking for a scapegoat, someone to blame !
In 2011, a Bundesliga referee couldn’t cope with all the nasty remarks anymore and he attempted suicide hours before a game. Luckily his assistants found him and were able to take him to a hospital and save his life.
While he was recovering he received a note from German star Bastian Schweinsteiger. The Bayern Munich star wrote to Rafati : “Mr Rafati, there are often setbacks in life, but you have to bounce back each time. I wish you all the best.”
The little note made a huge impact on Mr. Rafati’s life. He was touched by the player’s kindness. But how do you turn the tide when things get out of hand ? How do you bounce back when things have gone too far, when it even seems too much to handle ? You can’t cope with it anymore and are ready to throw in the towel…
Put everything back in perspective !
We are human, humans make mistakes ! It’s an integral part of life, inherent to life. Mistakes are part of our growth process, we can learn from them ! They can teach us what works and what doesn’t, so that we are able to adjust or change course !
Don’t identify with your mistakes or problems. If you keep repeating that you are a failure, that nothing ever really works out for you, you will never escape this roundabout of negativity. You have to break the pattern and start putting more positivity in yourself.
Bring back positivity
We all know that boss who is unable to compliment us for our good work or praise us for our excellence but happens to spot and comment every single thing that goes wrong.
We all remember our teachers who couldn’t utter a single positive word, who were always belittling, complaining, judging…who picked on us !
Or we had parents who were never satisfied of our actions and our behaviour and now it seems as if you have to prove yourself continiously in life. “Am I right or wrong, am I doing good ? I don’t know what to do !”
You start doubting and worrying and you become indecisive about what you really want !
Stop looking for others’ appreciation or approval
What other people think or say about you shouldn’t be of any concern to you. When others trigger you and leave you feeling bad, you have given permission to them to pollute your personal space.
Do not let them enter your system ! Each time you let them penetrate your energyfield, you devaluate yourself !
If you keep living according to others’ standards and morals, you’ll have to face a lot of regrets in life. Why don’t you take the direction YOU want in life and choose the things that make you feel good ?
Restore your self worth
If we would be more self loving, we wouldn’t experience that much resistance or opposition in life. Be less judgemental about yourself and others ! Stop giving your power away ! Focus on your own progress. Invest in yourself !
Start talking positively to yourself instead of repeating “Mea Culpa” all the time. Blame, guilt and shame are too heavy burdens to carry around for long ! These emotions will only affect and infect you in a bad way !
When someone did you wrong, staying resentful, spewing hateful thoughts or words will only keep you trapped in negativity. Same as for seeking revenge : “He will pay for what he did, he won’t get away with it…” Remember that hatred eats the soul of the hater, not the hated !
Sometimes the most important person you need to forgive is yourself ! When you have done something wrong and feel bad about it, admit it, apologize and ask for forgiveness ! Even if the other person refuses to forgive you, that’s their choise !
And if you have trouble forgiving someone, keep the following sentence in mind : Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future !
Phuro! Be inspired!